Grief, Fear, Anger, Bitterness, and Worry: The Full Emotional Spectrum of Chinese Medicine (Thanks, 2020)
How are you all doing?
The clinic has been open for a few weeks and my heart is so happy, seeing some familiar faces! We look forward to seeing you again when you feel it's the right time for you, whenever that may be. We have implemented lots of solid systems for sanitizing and keeping things healthy and clear, and we will just move through this one moment and phase at a time.
Which brings us to...
Mental Health
May was technically Mental Health Month, but June is here, and our collective mental health is asking for some attention. I started writing this newsletter early last week, thinking about the importance of mental health in the time of a pandemic. And now, only seven days later, we have appropriate national outrage at a flawed system. Before I begin, let me be clear:
Black Lives Matter.
Brown Lives Matter.
The turmoil we find ourselves in is a signal that something is wrong. Just as pain is a signal from our body to pay attention, we are getting the message to Pay. Attention. Often, in Chinese Medicine, we think of "negative" emotions as a sign of being out of balance. But they are really a signal to pay attention to see what's causing the imbalance. The goal is never erasing the emotion; the goal is to listen, to learn, to shift, to grow. So it is in our community. Let's listen to these strong "negative" emotions and see what needs addressing.
I'm always a fan of starting within, and listening to what your body is saying. What are you feeling? Any physical sensations? Any emotional ones? Where are you feeling? Is your stomach clenched, is your chest heavy, do you feel frozen, or outraged and angry (or all of the above)? Is your anxiety making it hard to feel connected or grounded, or even to feel anything? How about your neck, shoulders, low back?
This is a good place to start when our daily, basic patterns of stability are radically disrupted. Emotions flood our nervous systems and they go into overdrive, trying to protect us. We develop a pattern of high-alert, danger spotting. Fear and worry get kicked into high drive, because those emotions are catalysts for ensuring our safety. In Chinese Medicine, this demands a lot from our Spleen, because worry is the emotion associated with this organ, and from our Kidneys, which are the organs associated with fear. The lungs are also involved--there's some grief and feelings of loss for the world we lived in just three months ago, there's grief for an unjust death, there's just grief. The lungs govern grief and sadness. Frustration and irritability with the circumstances call on the energy of the liver and the gallbladder--it's hard to be living in a state of "unknowns" and injustices for a long period of time--the liver thrives on clear, purposeful energy. And finally, the heart. The heart governs joy, and while there has been a lot of opportunity and need for gratitude, which nourishes the heart, I can't say that there's much abundant joy happening in the world these days. In short (or long...), there's a lot of opportunity for listening to what our bodies are telling us, and to begin to open to how we can listen and learn.
We CAN do this. Our bodies, and beings, are profoundly resilient. All of our nervous systems have risen to the occasion to do what needs to be done. We are in it, and some days are better than others.
After some listening and taking stock, how do we continue to nourish and nurture our beings so that we can move through this, with resources? How do we move through this uncertain and unclear time with kindness for ourselves, our families, our communities, and our humanity? The months ahead look to be full of opportunity for us to feel our way through, checking in and seeing what is the right thing for each and everyone of us, always with an eye toward healing and health at the deepest level.
Full disclosure: this is exactly how we help people with acupuncture and Chinese Medicine. Erika and I are here, open and seeing patients in person and virtually. To invest in your health and well being, you can make an appointment here. We are helping to calm and restore nervous systems, so that shifts can continue. We are here to shore up immune systems (but not treating anyone in person who is under the weather), clear up allergies and sinus issues, and to generally give your entire body mind spirit system a boost. We are here to help people get a good night's sleep. We are helping people stay pain free, mobile and healthy in this unique time. (Our quick COVID policy: masks are required (we can supply you with one), we are sanitizing surfaces and hands often, we are screening patients before their appointments, we have HEPA filters in every treatment room, we are making sure there is good fresh air flow and never more than 8 people in the 1400 sq foot clinic at a time. You can read more here.). Virtual appointments are structured so that you get the same deep sense of calm and relaxation as well as all the physical and emotional benefits of acupuncture, from your own home.
In addition to getting support with a Chinese Medicine treatment, we can begin by recognizing the patterns that we are operating in, right here, right now.
Here's what I've been noticing, within myself, my family, with patients, and in my community:
Feelings of sadness and overwhelm, anxiety, and depression, fueled by worry and fear.
A lack of motivation that is coming out as irritability and frustration.
A sense of being stuck, and having difficulty moving forward (see lack of motivation.)
Cravings for foods and flavors to help "ground" and "soothe" our nervous systems. You've heard of the Covid 19 (lbs)? Be kind to yourself and others, there's a legitimate reason for it.
Once there is recognition, how do we proceed with nurturing resilience in the face of it?
START SMALL
Transformation doesn't just happen overnight. Recognize that your nervous system is really activated right now and has been riding some waves for almost three months--and that it's doing it's job. But it will do it's job better if you are able to find ways to soothe it. With care, with kindness, with love.
Notice when your nervous system goes into overdrive. What are its triggers? Is it when you read the news right before bed? Is it when you have to go out to the grocery store? Is it when you have a physical sign that all might not be 100%? Notice. Recognize. Start to learn when that shift into high gear starts ramping up.
Choose how you want to proceed. Notice, in that split second, that you have a choice. You can continue reading the news, and that information may be really helpful. But perhaps you choose to read or watch or listen for twenty or thirty minutes a day, instead of two or three hours. Maybe you just back it off by 15 minutes a day until you're at a point where you are getting your information in a more succinct manner that is helpful and allows for some integration time. Here's the balance: the Kidneys feel better with having enough information to make wise decisions. The kidneys get taxed by living in an extended state of fear.
Go tiny--like, 5-15 minutes at a time. No motivation? Give yourself 5. 5 minutes of meditation. 5 minutes of deep breathing. 5 minutes of dancing to a song. 5 minutes of a pause before hitting the snack cupboard. Or give yourself 15--a 15 minute walk. A 15 minute nap to restore your nervous system. 15 minutes of yoga. 15 minutes of connecting with someone you care about, just listening and talking. 15 minutes to put a simple meal together, with some care and attention (not perfection!). Small shifts, small choices = change.
Ride the waves--some days will feel easy, and some will not. On the days that don't, go more slowly. Shore yourself up and replenish. You won't be going slow forever, but this need for slowing down helps your nervous system digest the experience in order to move forward with some resources. Be kind. Take a nap, reset with a book or a movie, and know that it is weather moving through. Slow restores. Slow allows the right path for you to unfold. Slow is full of care. Slow allows for connection, for healing, for listening.
Slow opens the possibility for the positive counterpoints to these "negative" emotions: Grief transforms to Justice and Courage. Fear transforms to Knowledge and Wisdom. Anger transforms to Compassion. Bitterness transforms to Love and Connectedness. Worry transforms to Care and Nurturing.
Be kind to yourselves. And if you forget, try again. There's no such thing as perfect. If you kind find a way to be kind to yourself, you expand your capacity to be kind to others. And the world could use a lot of kindness and understanding right now. Let it begin with you.
In love, in kindness, in connection and compassion always,
Julie